Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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