you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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