If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize