Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
