youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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