Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
