Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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