I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
