Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize