definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
