her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
