I can text with my tongue
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
