I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
