"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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