Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
