4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
