Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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