You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
