The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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