they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
