Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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