He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
