she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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