the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
