She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
