Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
