idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
