Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
