brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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