all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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