His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
