perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
