Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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