TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
