After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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