my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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