Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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