We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
