Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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