chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
