Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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