you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
