you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Umm I'm too high to move.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
