you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
