why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
