i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
