It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
