tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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