Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
