I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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