Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize