I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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