Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
