I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
