: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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