Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
