so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
