Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
